


Stapling Clark

by Stone_Princess



Category: Smallville
Genre: Crack, First Time, Humor, M/M, Office Supplies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-03-27
Updated: 2003-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:17:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stone_Princess/pseuds/Stone_Princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex.  With a staple gun.  Probably sexier than that sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stapling Clark

**Author's Note:**

> Autumnyte put the idea in my head. Clearly my own insanity made me follow through with it. Beware, clichés abound, plot is in no way present and there ain't much else here but stapling and sex. Thanks to Rhiannonhero for helping with hotness and Joyfulgirl for helping with the funny. If it sucks, blame me not them.

* * *

"Lex." Clark's voice sounded as if it was caught in his throat. "I have to tell you..."

Lex raised his hand cutting off Clark's words. "No, Clark, you don't. It's ok." He stepped around the desk to his friend.

"Lex, there shouldn't be secrets between us. This is important to me." Clark licked his bee-stung lips nervously. He looked so anxious, but he met Lex's eyes as he spoke. "I'm not like other guys, Lex. I..."

"It's okay, Clark, you don't have to say it. I know." Lex walked to the pool table and picked up a cue, anxious to occupy his hands, lest he start to run them over rippling farm-boy muscles. He looked at Clark, who looked entirely too edible, despite his obvious misery. "Clark." Clark's nervousness must be rubbing of on Lex. Lex paused for a moment to think of other parts of Clark he wanted to rub off, or on, or up against. He started again, "Look, I know. You're really strong, you can run fast." Lex wondered if Clark did _everything_ fast.

"It's more than that, Lex." Clark’s wide-eyed innocence was something that Lex had never had, even in his mother’s womb.

"Clark, have you really thought about this? I know you have secrets. I wish you would share them, but it's important to me that you really know what you're doing." Lex stroked the pool cue, up, down, up, down. Oddly enough, he was not even _remotely_ interested in playing pool.

"I don't know where I am come from. I can't be hurt."

"That's ridiculous, Clark. Everyone can be hurt. No one is invulnerable." _Up, down, up, down._

"No, Lex, let me show you!" Clark rushed to the desk earnestly, seeking something. He tore open drawers and rifled through them. "Here!" He stood up, a staple gun in his hand, looking very pleased with himself. "I'll show you, Lex." He reminded Lex of a big puppy, eager to please its master. Lex wouldn’t have been surprised if Clark started prancing around the room, wagging his tail. And what nice tail it was. _Up, down, up, down._ Clark crossed the room and stood next to Lex at the pool table. He bent up one leg and pressed the staple gun to it, pressing down hard on the lever.

"Fuck, Clark! What are you doing! Stop!" Lex's directive went unanswered as Clark stapled against his leg again and again. Suddenly he stopped.

"Oh god."

"Clark! What? Are you okay? Let me see your leg!" The pool cue dropped, forgotten. As Lex leaned over he heard the clink of staples rattling to the floor, as if they hadn't been able to penetrate Clark's jeans. No, the jeans were torn, but there was no blood, not even a scratch beneath the torn denim. "Clark?" Before Lex could ask more he found himself wrapped in firm farm-boy arms, eager lips on his.

Lex let himself fall into the kiss, wrapping an arm around Clark’s waist, his other hand trailed over the torn denim on the leg of Clark's jeans.

Clark shuddered in his arms and pushed his leg up against Lex's hand. "Oh, Lex, yeah." He moaned between kisses.

Experimentally, Lex again pressed his hand harder over the ragged fabric. Clark's hips bucked, pressing his sizable erection into Lex's hip. Still clutching the staple gun, Clark dragged Lex over to the couch and pulled him down.

"Clark!" Lex struggled under his friend, even knowing about it, he was still amazed at Clark's strength. "Wait, maybe we should talk about this." As Lex twisted, the staple gun became trapped between them. It went off against Clark's stomach.

"Oh! Lex!" Did Clark just growl? Lex wasn't sure what he was hearing.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"No... told you... can't be hurt." The dusky hitch to Clark's voice caused Lex's cock to jump.

"What is it, Clark?"

"It feels so fucking good." The words ended in a low growl.

"Good? The staple gun?" Lex gasped as Clark ground his hard cock into Lex's leg. Lex was no stranger to the sexual appeal of inanimate objects. He had chemistry with everything. He had never considered a staple gun sexual, however. It wasn’t nearly phallic enough in his opinion.

"Please, ask questions later. Just, I want... I want you to touch me, please, Lex." Clark asked, polite to a fault, innocence and naivete and purity and goodness radiating from him, even as his hard-on was digging into Lex’s hip.

Lex looked up into enlarged pupils glistening above Clark's flushed cheeks. He didn't think as he captured Clark's mouth in another kiss. Clark's hands ran over him in a flurry. A disorienting wind flowed by and Lex's shirt was gone, as was Clark's.

"What?"

"I'm fast. Kiss now, talk later." Clark's tongue stole Lex's words.

Lex turned them carefully, feeling the cold steel of the staple gun against his belly, between them. He reached to put it on the floor. Clark caught his wrist.

"No, leave it."

Lex wasn't convinced of the safety of a staple gun between their bodies, but he'd sacrifice a lot to continue having Clark look at him so desperately, so lustfully. Clark's body arched up against him as he bit Clark's neck. His teeth and tongue moved over the expanse of Clark's skin. Exceedingly aware of the cool metal against his stomach, Lex moved carefully as he tried to taste every inch of Clark.

He slid down cautiously; kneeling between Clark's spread legs, pushing the stapler up to rest on Clark's chest. He undid Clark's jeans and pushed them down, marveling at the smooth unmarred skin where he seen Clark use the staple gun. Clark shivered as he kissed there softly, before turning to the hard, uncut cock desperately awaiting his attention. Lex rubbed his face through the dark curls, before licking up the shaft.

"I don't know what to do. I want you," Clark's voice was barely a whisper. "I don't know how to do this, but I want it."

"Just let me have you, Clark. You don't have to do anything, I'll show you everything." As he stood and stripped off his own pants, Lex couldn't take his eyes off Clark, the steel staple gun, glinting in contrast to Clark's gold skin.

Everything about Clark was fluid, dream-like. Silk skin, taut and forgiving. Lex tasted, touched, twisted, bit, licked, stroked, fondled, sucked every part of Clark.

Turning Clark onto his stomach, Lex laid across his lover's back and, scraping his teeth along a soft earlobe, he whispered, "I want to fuck you."

"I want you. All of you."

Lex pulled and Clark's hips, raising the boy onto his hands and knees. With only saliva to slick his way, Lex wetted his cock and slipped his fingers into Clark's tight heat. The pressure on his fingers was intense. The rocking of Clark's hips and the keening noises coming from the boy were too much for Lex to take. He had to have Clark right now. He pressed his aching cock greedily at Clark's hole.

"It's going to be painful, Clark, it your first time."

"I keep telling you, you can't hurt me. Please, I want it so badly. Fuck me, Lex."

His entrance was slow, almost painful, making Lex was desperate for release. As Clark's heat surrounded him Lex was lost to everything else. He pulled out slowly and pushed back in, savoring the sensation of Clark, so close to Clark. Inside Clark. Clark whimpered and bucked back up against Lex. Forgetting to worry about hurting Clark, Lex began to fuck him in earnest.

"Staple me."

Lex froze. "What?"

"Please, the staple gun, use it. On me. My back," Clark begged.

Unsure, but trusting Clark, Lex pulled the gun from where it was trapped between the couch cushions and pressed the stapler to the base of Clark's spine.

"Are you sure?" Of all the things Lex had ever done sexually, this was surely the most bizarre.

Clark's voice, as he answered, was, low and full of need. "Please, fuck, please, Lex."

The recoil of the stapler against Lex's hand was surprising, but quickly overshadowed by Clark's ass tightening around his cock and Clark's desperate begging.

"Jesus, please, more!"

Unable to control himself, Lex started fucking Clark again. He found a steady rhythm, shooting a staple against Clark's spine on everything third stroke, slowly working his way up each vertebrae.

The insanity of the situation was diluted by Clark's reaction. The staples folded and slid away, never penetrating the golden skin. But with each attempt, Clark bucked and swore, his ass clenching around Lex's cock. By the time Lex had reached Clark's shoulder blades with the staple gun, Clark was incoherent, begging senselessly, so prettily. Clark twisted his hips, fucking back against Lex, wild in his need for more contact. Lex pressed the stapler to the nape of Clark's neck and pushed the handle down, letting the gun fall from his hand to rest alongside the mashed staples on the floor.

The staple gun clattered to floor. Clark's spurted come over the couch and up on to his own belly as he shuddered, crying, "Lex, Lex, Lex," over and over.

Lex rode out Clark's convulsions. He reached down, looking for leverage to fuck Clark deeper. His hand slipped wetly though Clark's come and blue heat spun off Lex's spine, straight for his cock. He was sure he spoke as the orgasm wracked him, but as he collapsed on to Clark's broad unmarked back he knew he'd never remember what he said.

Lex finally shifted as he realized his hand hurt. He pulled it from under Clark. A small, crinkled stapled was pressed into his palm, just barely breaking the skin.

"Clark," Lex said thoughtfully, "I think maybe you do have some explaining to do after all."

~finis~


End file.
